Just when they thought it was all over… the real competition got going with Sneem’s got talent on Sunday night..

While the team prize went overseas to District Noord Holland, the harsh and sometimes overly critical judges had to agree that Sneem had a wee bit of talent on Sunday night. Following a night of singing, bellowing, croaking, dancing and jumpy-hoppy movements, race organiser Valerie Considine said “I was glad that the teams were prepared and determined on Sunday night, they clearly conserved plenty of energy on the roads, but they left it all on the dance floor”. The judges Olivia Dillon, Gillian McDarby and Heather Boyle showed no mercy to all contestents. McDarby revealed “we were critical of the girls in the knowledge that they would outperform themselves on their second performance”. Unfortunately not all were given a second chance.

The competition kicked off with a karaoke performce from the District Noord Holland girls, they had clearly put in preparation but received three Xs from the judges. They were promptly kicked off the stage, Boyle explained “the lyrics were obscene, my ears hurt listening to the lewd content”, although she herself was boo-ed for her harsh decision.

The next contestents, Moving Ladies, were clear with their intent to add a second win to their stage win earlier in the day. They performed a high energy routine which involved much bum shaking and bopping. McDarby told them to lose the bopping Chris Rowe, and Californian judge Dillon was highly critical of the choreography saying “this just looks like a karaoke performance thrown together on the night”. Many believed she was just bitter, and didn’t like to see others winning.

The Rapha Condor crew performed a sea shanty, McDarby commented on their one trick pony routine – of putting Alli Holland up front all weekend, she lead a 5 part harmony, originality was high, but they also received several Xs.

The Irish Team sacrificed Jenny McCauley to the crowd, McCauley gave a heart wrencing performance, telling the story of her dying car, to the tune of Janis Joplin’s Mercedes Benz, the judges thought she was clearly out of her depth in the international field.

Sandy Wallace was represented by Anda Jay Burgess, runner up to Dillon in the Time Trial. Burgess dedicated her song to Dillon, and won her heart… Abba “The winner takes it all”. For the first time in the night Dillon offered praise to the contestent, and expressed her desire to declare her an instant winner. Her decision was rejected by the rest of the panel.

PSUK (the British Gardaí Síochana) in fitting style out numbered their opponents, and in the guise of a campfire song chanted lewd lyrics to the crowd. Naturally everyone clapped uniformly, with forced smiles – what crazy loon would criticise them…

Before we move to the Irish (who took a loonnnnggg time to get ready… hmmm) the Lexxi Chicks stormed onto the stage… with a frighteningly accurate rendition of the chicken song. Dillon thought they winged the performance, while McDarby thought it was just a load of flapping around, all agreed that they were fine looking birds.

Sneem Hotel Manager Nicola sang a beautiful duet with neutral service man Eddie Keogh “You’re so vain”, you could only hear Eddie in the mic, clearly vain AND confident.

This wasn’t the only duet of the night – Louis Moriarty and Alli Holland stole the show with a fine rendition of “You’re the one that I want”, everyone was impressed with Moriarty’s dance moves, who’d've thought he was so agile, Louis – quit the day job… you’re wasted in Sneem Hotel..

The Leinster Team with the support of several mechanics, the PRO, a guest singer (Orla Hendron) dedicated their song to race organiser Valerie Considine “I did it my way”, using the genius lyrics “we did it Val’s way”.

The support staff fronted by soprano Alice Sheratt, and a jiving Phil O Brien also went down the karaoke route and got slated by the judges. Dillon was unimpressed saying “Really, your timing was all off”.

Cycling Ulster had a last minute routine change, and went with the all time favourite “I will survive”, the judges were hugely critical of the poor choreography and over dramatics of the Ulster girls, although they complemented them on their energy. Again, many believed the judges had just become cranky and bitter.

Just when they thought it was over District Noord Holland pulled out the performance of the night. Claudia Koster pulled out of her bike box a grand piano and the group wooed the crowd with a song full of Dutch lyrics nobody could understand. McDarby said it was beautiful but recommended that Herman should go solo, Dillon was lost for words for the first time all weekend and Boyle had lost concentration, looking through her dutch – english dictionary frantically.

The decision was unanimous, the Dutch girls were given a contract to be the headliners at Sneem House every Sunday for the next 6 months, and everyone else went home empty handed. Talent shows, a tough business.